I am getting older. It is clearly apparent to me. I do not have aching knees or any type of chronic back pain. I do not have any grey hairs yet and the “ceasar” is pretty much in tact. In fact, I could probably grow my locs down my back again without much trouble. No wrinkles in the face and most people I meet can not believe I am over 30. So what is it that has me feeling like Grady from “Sanford and Son” you may ask? Well, it is quite simple.

By the grace of God, my hearing is still very much in tact. However, more than any other time in my life, it is becoming increasingly difficult to listen to a lot of the music coming out these days and this includes the time when I was pastor of the Greater Greensboro Church of Backpacker Hip-Hop which relocated back to New Jersey when I graduated from college.

Those who know me or have read my writings over the years know that I have not been a “radio” or “popular” type of music listener since golden age of Red Alert, Mr. Magic and Marley Marl. So this is not a completely new condition for me. But even during my most dedicated days as a monk in the Underground Monastery, when just about everything on the radio was an abomination to me, I still enjoyed a fair amount of mainstream artists and their material. It was nothing for me to ride around blasting Biggie’s “Machine Gun Funk”, Mobb Deep’s “Up North Trip” or the Dogg Pound’s “Bomb @ss …”. However, I did feel that listening to radio singles in my truck was a sin punishable by death and dismemberment.

That was many years ago. I lightened up quite a bit over time since those darkest of days. I became a Cash Money Records fiend in 1998 and began my “Lil Wayne is a beast” campaign. I thought Mase didn’t get enough credit as an MC. R. Kelster the Molester’s music no longer turned my stomach. I was buying every Trick Daddy Dollas album that came out and Bun B had skyrocketed up my “Best MCs” list. It was quite a transformation indeed, akin to Sam Kinison’s transformation from evangelist to raunchy comedian. I still had the backpack on, but there were some Youngstar and Lil Flex CDs hobnobbing with the Company Flow and Planet Asia.

Something has changed, though. My ears are not the same as they were, even a few months ago, and it is somewhat alarming to say the least. I tried to ignore it for a while, brush it off as just a “mood” or "phase" that I was going through and believed things would return to form fairly quickly. Much to my surprise, it is not improving in the least. In fact, the situation seems to be debilitating rapidly and the true gravity of my condition revealed itself in the last few weeks, which leads me to believe the future prognosis is not good at all.

As is my daily routine, I have continued to scour the far reaches of the virtual globe “in search of the perfect beat.” In those excursions, I usually come across a wide array of sounds from every corner of the earth that span numerous genres and classifications. Regardless of my love and appreciation for all forms of music, Hip-Hop has its own special place as “the love of my life.”

Well, as most of you know, there is a lot of anticipation surrounding one particular icon in the Hip-Hop realm right now. As has been reported, Jay-Z is working on an album drawing inspiration from the upcoming Denzel Washington film, “American Gangster”, in which Washington portrays a drug kingpin from in the 1970’s. According to reports, Jay says the film has inspired him to revisit his “Reasonable Doubt” days for this new music. And while that prospect may sound great in theory, I must admit that I am not the least bit interested in the project.

I thought I would be. Hell, “Allure” from “The Black Album” is one of my favorite Jay-Z tracks ever. But, after hearing the first two singles, the Pharrell produced “Blue Magic” and the Diddy/Hittmen produced “Roc Boys,” I am really and truly not interested in this album. Those two songs do absolutely zero for me. Now granted, I am going to listen to “American Gangster” when it is released and I may have to retract some of the opinions I am expressing right now. But so far, all I have really been able to pay attention to are the beats, which are both hot. In contrast, Jay-Z’s lyrics sound like the teacher on the “Peanuts” cartoons to me. I have no idea what he’s said on either one, and I have attempted to listen carefully on numerous occasions, each time being unsuccessful. It is like I literally can not hear what he is saying and I do not know if there is a remedy for it.

The issue is not isolated to Jay, who I still believe is one of the best Hip-Hop artists of all time. I loved 50 Cent’s “Get Rich or Die Trying” and even gained a pretty good appreciation for “The Massacre” over time. Thus far on his latest album, “Curtis”, I have gotten through the “Intro” and the first song, “My Gun Go Off.” After that, my stereo go off. I literally can not listen to any more of it.

My love for southern Hip-Hop is waning as well (no pun intended). Lil Wayne is still a beast, but there was a time when I felt just about every verse he spit. Now, some of it is starting to sound nonsensical and elementary (“I play fair like roller coasters and clowns”?). The fact that his rhymes have been littered with gang affiliation references does not help matters any. T.I., who is also a very gifted lyricist, has begun to make music that sounds like “white noise.” On his latest offering, “T.I. vs. T.I.P”, I could have listened to the 30 second snippets on Amazon.com and been satisfied because that is exactly what I did at home.

I could list about 20 more names of artists whose music I have enjoyed in the past, but have basically become un-listenable to me now. There is a definitely some sort of impairment to this music being an enjoyable experience. But what is it?

Does the music just suck now?

Have all of these artists lost “it” at the same time?

Has the music progressed that much?

Or is it just me?

As of right now, I am coming to terms with the fact that I may actually have an incurable condition. As disturbing as it is, I may never enjoy another new Jay-Z song. Lil Wayne may fall out of my top 10 Current MCs list. Perhaps I lost all desire to indulge in the ways of “this” world.

Was I actually on the correct path to enlightenment when I was exclusively an “underground” listener?

Was I backsliding all this time and now being brought back to the light?

Hmmmm……

Nah, the music just sucks.