I was having lunch with Angree Bruther as we were attempting to analyze the problems in many of today’s relationships from a woman’s point of view (just trying to understand the other side for a minute). We seemed to keep coming to the conclusion that the majority of single women are not happy with today’s single man. What are the problems that women have with us you may ask? Well the issues range from men not being courteous enough (manners are a big thing) to men attempting to have their cake and eating it too (i.e. infidelity). I can clearly understand why women should be upset with men; we can be rude and trifling at times. However, this behavior does have its sources. There are influences such as broken homes, where father figures were not around to instruct males on how to properly treat women, as well as listening to much of today’s music, where disrespect towards women is quite prevalent (which itself is often a product of the self-degradation displayed by women in the choices of clothing being worn or not worn). While I am aware that these factors are not excuses, they are realities.

Angree wanted to write this piece, but I knew that if he did, the title would have been “Why Should I Be Nice When These Stupid Females Don’t Know How the Hell To Act?” and the content would have been very, very harsh. If you don’t believe me read this or this after you finish reading this piece. Therefore I decided to take the reins for this one because I am a little more sympathetic.

I do honestly attempt to empathize with women when it comes to this issue, but I cannot help seeing the other side of the situation and ask the question, “Have women ever stopped to think that some men are the way they are because they have been crushed by a female?” When I say ‘crushed,’ I am referring to him putting his absolute all into a relationship; heart, mind and soul. And when he does so, he ends up being cheated on or left out to dry for some fanatical reason.

I totally agreed with R. Kelly when he made his 1998 song “One Man”, where the chorus stated “One man can make one women hate all men.” However, the same rule applies to women. Just substitute "woman" for "man" and vice versa. Many women may disagree because they are under the impression that “men are stronger and are not as emotional as women.” This is not always the case, especially when you have men who desire to love someone and be loved in return.

Imagine this scenario: a man who is ready to share a mutual love relationship with a woman believes he has found “the one.” This woman possesses all of the traits he does not; thus creating a perfect balance in the relationship. It is as if she is the rib that GOD took from Adam to make Eve. He is completely focused on her and loves her more than any other being in this world. Then all of a sudden without warning, she leaves and her rationale for the decision is completely mind-boggling to him. Now what is he to do? Here is a man that had seemingly found everything he had ever wanted in a mate, decided to focus on that one person for the rest of his life and she just up and leaves! Should this man just slowly get over it and pick up the pieces of his shattered heart? Of course he should. But for some men, it is not that easy to do.

Ladies, contrary to popular belief, there are men out there that love hard. And once they have put everything into a person and come up short through no fault of their own, they often lose hope in true love. Their dreams of finding that one person are (pardon my French) - shot to hell! So they end up playing the “I’ve got to get mine” game with women from then on; hence causing a trickle down effect in single relationships.

A woman meets a man (who has been ‘crushed’) and falls hard for him because he still possesses those traits necessary for loving relationships even though he is not emotionally capable of sustaining one at this time in his life. The end result - he dogs her out, which in turn causes this woman to have nothing but derogative feelings towards men and the cycle continues. Sadly the trend will never end until these wounded persons are able to find someone they can build a trusting relationship with again. However, the odds of that occurring without some complications along the way are very slim.

Robert, sing the song please…

”…One man can make one women hate all men…”

Upon reflection, does that chorus tell the entire story? I guess it doesn’t quite flow as well had he changed the chorus to “One person can make one person hate all members of the opposite sex,” huh? He needs to do a remix for the fellas or something.

Peace People,

Leonard J. Jackson Overseen by Angree Bruther

** Have a question or comment for Leonard Jackson? You may e-mail him at ljackson@highergroundonline.com**