I think I’ve known for quite sometime that I have a calling to minister to single parents. Although, I wasn’t certain what vehicle I was to use to do this until recently. About a year ago Leonard Jackson informed me he and another young man, Gerald Alston were developing a web portal to display various thoughts and ideas and thus the rest will become history.

I became a single parent when my son was still fairly young, we were living in Scarsdale, NY and I was working for IBM in White Plains, NY. In February 1989, IBM allowed me to transfer to Greensboro, NC. I had no family in NY and needed that support structure. However, before moving I brought my son and niece, to North Carolina in December to stay with my Mom. I registered them both in school then I went back to New York to wait for the paperwork to become finalized regarding my transfer. God is truly a good God! During this time, I rented a room at the YWCA. My transfer became final in February.

It was at that moment I really realized that my life as I had come to know it would be changed forever. (That’s not always a bad thing). So here I go off to be the best mother I can be. Single or with my former spouse, I know why God allowed me to become his mother. I have been so blessed as his mom.

Parents, understand single parenting is an accomplishable task, it won’t be easy and there will be times when you’ll feel as if you want to give up. Should these feelings come and they will, just look at your children and thank God for choosing you to be their parent. We can, as single parents rear our children to be fine, loveable, loving, respected, respectable and God fearing young men and women [contrary to what the media would have you believe]. It is important that we treat them as if they are more precious than gold because they are. By the way, my son is now in his middle twenties, in graduate school and without a doubt one of the finest people you will ever know.

Recognize that our children are a gift, on loan to us from God to nourish and train them up in the way they should go. Parenting is an honor and a privilege and should at no time be taken lightly. I always wanted to have at least one child and it was my prayer that I would have a boy. God allowed both of those wishes to come true. I have never been as good at anything as I am being his mother. He truly is the best part of me. Parenting for me has been and still is such a joy. When my son was growing up I enjoyed every phase of growth better than the last phase. What I mean by that is, when he was an infant I enjoyed him then, as he grew into a toddler I enjoyed him even more and it just kept getting better and better. Now he is a full-grown adult and our time together is so precious. We have grown to be friends. My opinion is still called upon for things as picking out eyewear, bedding ensembles and even purchases of furniture. If you’ve experienced this then you know how it makes you feel to know that they still want and need to keep you in the loop.

Trust God to give you what you need to be the best parent possible. God led me in ways I never even realized until much later. Example, my son was about 12 years old when we put together a “tickie chart”. This was a chart outlining all of his chores and putting a dollar amount for each chore. He had a maximum allowance, but depending on how well he did his chores or not would determine how much allowance he would receive. As a family we had family meetings and it was at the meetings that all policies were decided by all of us not just me as the parent. I’m truly not sure how I came up with idea; this was obviously God’s doing. To discipline my son by sending him to his room was no discipline. His room was equipped with computer, boom box/stereo, ntendo, television and phone. Punishment is not punishment unless it is felt. God showed me I could not hurt him any place as much as in his wallet. We as parents need to follow through with what we say. Our children must understand that there are consequences for their actions. After a couple of times of receiving little or no allowance he got the message and that was no longer a problem. This is what worked for me. You as parents with God’s help can find out what works for you, too.

Remember, children learn what they see. It is important that we lead by example; we are their first role models. Children will mirror us and habits (both good and bad) are picked up very fast. In order to discipline them we need to be doing those things that we are instructing them to do. The days of doing as I say and not as I do are no more. Children will ask questions, and it has always been my belief that if they are old enough to ask then they deserve to given an answer on the level that they can understand. They are not going to be as quick to listen if you are not walking the walk that you’re talking.

I pray this is the first segment of many more to come. By the way my son’s name is Leonard Jackson.

Lenny’s Mom (as I’ve become affectionately known)

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