In this election year, there will be a lot of change in the offices of our elected government officials. Even the highest office of them all is up for grabs in what looks to be a very highly contested race till the end. Now even though I may want to fire some of these political “representatives,” none of them are the representative in question whose time had come and whose services were no longer needed.

The representative I am referring to is my “relationship representative.” We all have one. You know, that person who looks and dresses just like you who you send to meet someone for the first time. The person who possesses all of your positive traits and none of the negative ones or baggage you continue to carry around. The one who can only stick around for about the first 3 months of a situation and then is nowhere to be found until a new situation presents itself. The one who seems to have it all together and always seems to cause people to ask him or her “Why are YOU still single?” But instead of giving the truthful answer of “Because I really don’t exist,” he or she usually dawns a quizzical smile, shrugs his or her shoulders, and somehow makes all of his or her exes look at fault in every situation.

Yeah, I had to fire that fool. He was doing the company more harm than good. I’m surprised we haven’t been sued for false advertising. His only saving grace was that fact that there would immediately be a counter-suit filed in relationship court on our behalf because of the deceitful actions of the opposing company’s “representative.”

Now that the “representative” position has been terminated, I have been able to look at things more objectively. And the first and most obvious question that has surfaced during this probe is “Why do we have a representative in the first place?” Well, it is understood that every person wants to “put his or her best foot forward” so to speak. But there is a difference between “putting one’s best foot forward” and not being true to oneself. The problem is that we allow the latter to occur more times than not.

It is a natural reaction to try and be what we believe to be the perfect person for someone we are attracted to and are interested in having a relationship with. However, there are a couple of immediate flaws in the logic that makes us send out our “representatives” during the 3-month trial relationships that we always have.

1. First and foremost, the person our rep is attempting to appear “perfect” for is a rep him/herself. Therefore, the adjustments being made are for a fictitious person for the most part. After three months, no one will recognize themselves or the other person.

2. No one is perfect for anyone. Sorry to break the news to all “soulmate” dreamers out there, but there is no one person out there meant for anyone. You can screw things up with your so-called “soulmate.” And because YOU messed things up due to your own free will, does that mean that person was not your “soulmate?” That is not logical. We all meet whom the Creator places in our lives, and it is up to us to make things work or not work. It is that simple.

3. You cannot change overnight. Most immediate adjustments have a short lifespan because they are things you are not used to or comfortable doing. If changing was that easy, you would have already incorporated those character traits into you personality and therefore would not have to adjust. The more sensible and effective way of adjusting oneself for a mate is identifying a negative or conflicting aspect of oneself and then working on it over time as we all have to do in long-term relationships.

So for 2004 and beyond, I will no longer have a representative for people when I meet them. As harsh and unrefined as I may be, it will be the real me. My flaws will be on display for all to see. I will leave it up to those who meet me to decided whether or not they can deal with ALL of me right off the bat; not just the warm and fuzzy parts. It will probably weed out a lot of people to begin with, but it will save me a lot of trouble in the long run. And as I tell every person I meet, in the immortal words of the great Negro poets Brand Nubian…

“Love me or leave me alone.”

** Have a question or comment for Knowfrillz? You may e-mail him at knowfrillz@highergroundonline.com **