I would first like to start off by saying that I feel I am a pretty good family-oriented, southern-mannered, easy-going brother. I have been on Earth for almost twenty-seven years now, and I feel that I have experienced enough in those years to share something with the masses that has been on my mind for quite some time.

In our daily lives, we encounter and make use of things such as cars, toys, and clothes that come to us pre-assembled for our convenience. But I feel there are some things that were not necessarily intended to be that way. So what is it that nowadays people are now attempting to add water to and grow instantly like the Martians in the Bugs Bunny cartoons?

Families.

Now please believe this is not a knock toward anyone, their family situations or the lifestyles they choose to lead. But I would like to present some ideas for you to think about.

Fellas, lets say you meet a girl. The two of you go on a few dates, during which you begin to develop feelings for her. Everything is going so well, that you even begin to entertain the thought that you may have found “Miss Right” as you two continue to click like Dorothy’s magic red heels in “The Wizard of Oz.”, one day she has a sit-down with you and gives you the “one night me and my baby’s daddy slipped up and a beautiful little baby girl…” spiel.

So my question for anyone who has been or is in this situation is “what now?” Should another man’s child dictate how far you are willing to let your feelings go for this woman? A woman you have grown to like or love depending on how fast you fall for people. I am not passing any sort of judgment on what is right and what is wrong; but rather exploring the pros and cons so to speak. Let’s start with rarely discussed and possibly lesser known phenomenon of “Baby Daddy Drama.”

The first brand of “Baby Daddy Drama” involves having to deal with that dude who wants no other male raising his child or even spending any time around his child. He is also far too often the cat that feels this particular woman’s body and the “activities” that said body can engage in are entitled to him forever just because the woman is the mother of his child.

The second brand of “Baby Daddy Drama” involves the dude that really does not want to be with the woman. However, his tactic of choice is to say or do anything he can just to make the relationship between the two of you miserable.

Now, not only do you have to try a make a relationship work, which is difficult enough in and of itself. But you also have a child involved which changes the relationship dynamic. And on top of that, you may have to deal with things such as:

Now going through this for three to six months is one thing, but what about long-term and trying to move towards marriage? You may have all these feelings for this lady, and by now even feelings for the child. Reciprocally, this lady has feelings for you the child more than likely has become attached. Taking that next step is a life-long commitment. In this case, though, it is not only to that woman and her child, but also to the crazy antics of some dude that you still do not know! At this point, one would have to think about whether it really worth it or not, and the prospect of an “instant family” may begin to seem a little less intriguing.

But this is not a one-sided issue. Ladies these days can often find themselves in a similar predicament. Ladies, say you meet a man you are feeling, decide to date and signs are pointing toward “Mr. Right” as the two of you hit it off right nicely. Then one day he has a sit down and he gives you that spiel about how a young lady that was his high school sweetheart caries the title of his Baby’s Mama.

So the question again in this situation is "what now?" Should another woman’s child dictate how far you are willing to let your feelings go for this man; a man is educated, employed and does not live with his mama? Once again, I’m not passing judgment on what is right and wrong; just exploring the pros and cons.

“Baby Mama Drama” is so rampant, that it has become part of our everyday vernacular. You know that "Baby Mama Drama" like:

And those are just a few examples.

Now we all know that no woman likes her space invaded, especially by another woman. This is even more problematic when the situation involves a woman who has something that ties her man to this “other woman” for the rest of their lives. So now you have deal with:

So when you ladies meet that man that is so handsome, employed, and not living with his mama, you may want to take things a little further. But now that marriage comes, not only with a lifetime commitment to him, but to custody battles, visitation rights, and that other woman not wanting that b!tch (read: you) around her child. And just like the men, women have to truly think about their feelings for this man, his feelings for her, the child factor and how the rest of their lives will play out.

Family is one of the most valuable things we will ever have in life. It is the basis of our entire society. If we continue to nurture dysfunctional families, the ills of our community and society as a whole will continue to suffer. Fortunately, most of us know or have witnessed mature and sensible people being able to come together and make sound decisions for situations involving single parents and relationships. There are so many success stories of “instant families” today that are not of the Jerry Springer variety, and because of the adults making sound decisions, there are children who end up benefiting from having “extra” parents guiding them through their life’s journey.

No matter how your family is put together, make sure you make the right decision when doing so. A lot of lives can be affected especially when it comes to children. But at the same time it takes a great person to do for someone what someone else was not willing to do.