A Fond Farewell By Gerald Alston

Today is the last day of my 20’s. In less than 8 hours, I will enter the 4th decade of my life on this planet. Over the past few months, I have been trying to figure out how I feel about that fact. And now that it is eminent, I have still not come to a conclusion. Evidently, how I am feeling right now is how I feel about it. Therefore, instead of talking about what I don’t know, I figure I will talk about what I do know.

First of all, I know that I am thankful to God for blessing me enough to let me see my 30th birthday. There are great deals of people who never get that opportunity. In recent years, whenever the thought of my age has entered my mind, it is usually followed almost immediately with thoughts of all of the young Black men who have not made it as far as I have. Murders, violence, crime, car accidents, freak accidents, sickness and a myriad of other reasons have led to the demise of many. But God has seen fit to allow my life to continue and thank him as well as pray that I continue to live and prosper under his guidance.

We as people all too often dwell in the negative things going on in our lives, which prohibit us from enjoying the positives. Sure, we all have problems. I know I do. But I also know that I am blessed to be in the position that I am at this moment in time. I’m working. I have a roof over my head, clothes on my back and food in the refrigerator, which is more than a lot of people can say. I think about the homeless, incarcerated, drug-addicted and criminally involved Brothers all the time. I could have easily been one of them. I thank God that I had parents who steered me in the right direction and assisted me in achieving what I have thus far. I thought my parents today as guest pastor, Rev. Keith Owens of Salem Baptist Church in Jersey City, NJ, gave an immensely entertaining sermon on the topic “Raising A Hoodlum.” And thank God I can proudly say of myself that the sermon did not apply to my mother and father. Thank you again to them.

You know, we always hear the cliché “you are only as old as you feel.” If that is the case, tomorrow I will turn both 17 and 30. I say 17 because, to be honest, I really don’t feel much different than I did at that age. I still listen to underground Hip-Hop music. I still run up the stairs in my house 2 at a time. When I look at my face, I don’t see much difference. And considering how often I get carded, the looks girls far too young to even entertain the thought of give me at the grocery store and the fact that when I ask someone to guess my age, they usually guess 5-7 years too young, I still have a young-feeling impression of myself.

However, mentally is where I feel my age. I have come to the point where I really don’t understand what teenagers and young people have going on these days! I no longer see the appeal of purchasing the biggest pants and shirts in the store when one’s size is 5 sizes smaller. I have begun to feel slightly uneasy around a large group kids depending on their appearance and it truly bothers me when I see young people acting foolish and being disrespectful to their elders. But to be honest, there is one overwhelming facet in my mental framework that is a true telling tale of my age.

I am becoming "comfortable in my own skin." If there is one aspect of growth that I can pinpoint from the past 10 years, it is the fact that I have truly begun to accept the person that I am and actually liking who that person is. Over that time, the need for acceptance by others has slowly faded. As much as I care for my fellow man, I no longer care to fit in.” As long as I have not wronged someone, I do not care whether or not someone outside of my family (and even some of them) likes me. I like me and ultimately, that is all the counts. I definitely have room for improvement. My outlook on life can be surmised in an old gospel song that often plays in my mind that says, "Please be patient with me. God is not through with me yet."

So as I enter this transition in my life, I feel good. I look forward to my 30's, which have been described as a time when you actually begin to live. I look forward to finding someone to settle down and start a family with if that is God's will. A couple of weeks ago, I was riding the train to work and I thought to myself I wonder what my wife is doing? What is she wearing to work today? Is she drinking Vanilla Latte on her morning commute? I look forward to meeting her and not having to wonder those things.

I look forward to children. I look forward to my parents being grandparents. I look forward to traveling more and seeing more of the world. I look forward to the challenges that will be placed in front of me because I have already learned that this life does not get any easier. I look forward to the future events what will one day become fond memories.

I think I have figured out how I feel now. I'm looking forward. I think I have learned not to live in the past anymore. No more worrying about things I cannot change. I am now looking forward to making wise decisions in the future.

So to my 20's, I bid you adieu. Thank you for the lessons learned and prayerfully, the wisdom to not repeat them. No hard feelings. No regrets. I appreciate everything you’ve done for me. But now it's on to bigger and better things.

Salutations.