Ladies, I have discovered that we as black women often treat our black men unkind and give them a lot attitude. Why is this? I myself, as a black woman, am guilty of this offense. But I want to know the reasons why we punish our men for long periods of time as if they were children. There is no sense to this madness. In trying to discover the hidden causes behind this behavior, I figured I would start with an example from my own life.

A brother promised to come and perform some work for me at my house. There were a couple of things around the house that needed tending to, and because I did not have a man at the time, a friend who was interested in me offered to help me out. He and I discussed what day would be best for him to come as well as the other particulars. Oh, I forgot to mention that this same friend had promised numerous times to help me out. Sometimes he would show and other times he wouldn't. Needless to say, he had a history with me of being slack. Nevertheless, I decided to believe him once again.

The day came for him to come help me, and guess what???? Yeah, you know it. No show. Now I had previously spoken with him hours before he was suppose to be at my house. He swore to me that he was coming. He didn't call OR show up that Friday afternoon. I did not even receive a phone call until Monday evening! By that time, I was boiling mad and I could care less if I ever spoke to him again. When the phone rang, I looked at the caller ID and saw that it was him. I started not to answer because I had nothing good to say. I picked up the phone and he began chatting casually for about 15 to 20 minutes. He had not apologized, nor had he mentioned the fact that he stood me up! (Men, why do you do this?)

Finally, he asks me if I was asleep before he called, and I responded with an emphatic “NO!!” (Ladies you know how we can make one word say so much) I then told him that he had some nerve calling me after three days and that he had not yet apologized. He tried to explain, but you know how black women are when they are upset...the man can't say anything to make it right. The biggest problem I had with his explanation was that he really did not have an excuse. He did finally get around to admitting he was wrong and apologized. Needless to say, my attitude for the rest of the conversation was not good and he could tell it was not going to change any time soon, so he decided to talk to me later.

The same guy called approximately one week later and fortunately (Yeah, I said it) I was not able to get to the phone. He left a message for me to call him back when I got the chance. Little did he know that there was no chance on this side of heaven that I was going to call him back!

Now the question is.... Why was I still punishing this man for something that he had done three weeks prior and had apologized for? Black Women, we all do it and it is sad. We beat our men up and expect for them to do what we say. We want to have the attitude, say whatever we want to say and still expect them be standing there with open, loving arms. This is completely unrealistic.

BROTHERS, I HEAR YOUR CRY.

Ladies, if you have a man or male friend and he does something you do not like (which they OFTEN do), please do not punish him until JESUS returns! This is not fair to him and all we are accomplishing is pushing our Black Men away; right into the arms of another woman.

Black Women, be wise. Wise up to the fact that we must elevate and uplift our Black Men. They have been torn down and belittled since slavery. There is no need for us to continue to perpetuate any type of degradation, no matter how good it may make us feel for the moment. The fact is that moment of satisfaction has much more of a lasting effect than we may think. Our men are becoming ENDANGERED species right before our eyes. Pay attention to your men and realize that he is to be treated like a king no matter what the circumstances are, and that includes those times when he makes mistakes.

“All have sinned and come short of the glory of God.” At least that’s what my Bible says.