The art of a Bra: "I love fashion, and I hate clothes" By Tekoa Hash

I was one of those unfortunate young girls that were forced into the world of adding that "womanistic" 2nd undergarment to my daily existence.  "A bra."  My mother treated the episode as if it were a celebration, filling me with confidence as we picked out and bought 5 new sets for the beginning of my 3rd grade year of school.  When we returned home from the shopping venture, I modeled my new bras for my mom, sisters and aunts as my mom took snapshots of this milestone in my young life.  I wasn't at all proud that I was developing faster than the other girls my age, but I did indeed embrace the changes in my body with confidence, because that's what my mother instilled in me.

By the time I was in the 8th grade, I was a full triple D!  Grown women would stare at my boobs as if I had committed a sin, just because my boobs were big.  I was voluptuously confident and I walked swiftly with my arms straight and my back arched.  Women were offended by my physique and grown men awed at the mere site of them.  I was physically active despite my awkward physique.  I was on the swim team, played soccer, and was a cheerleader throughout high school.  I didn't let my breasts stop me from living a normal life.  But I paid the cost, often wearing 3 or 4 sports bras at a time just to hold my babies in place.  I still have scars on my back from wearing so many heavy-duty bras; the constant reminder.

As an adult, I was awarded the option to have a breast reduction, and I took advantage of it with no hesitation.  And I can proudly say that I now feel free and normal.  My C-cup breast makes me feel better and I must admit that they sit quite firmly on my voluptuous womanly curves. Wearing a bra is no longer a priority for me.

Networking in New York with some of the fashion/entertainment industries most powerful women, I now come across less intimidating and more approachable.  And men finally notice my face before they lock eyes on the “twins.”

I recently went out to a very informal lunch outing with a guy that I was introduced to through a mutual friend.  Soon after lunch was over, he made a non-offensive remark about my breasts.  I responded quickly letting him know that I felt it was inappropriate and unnecessary.  He respected my wishes and frankly told me why he felt he could talk about my breast.  He reminded me that I no longer live in NY, and that Southern people are more conservative. He felt that because I wasn't wearing a bra that my personality was sleazy and vulgar.  He suggested that if I wanted more respectful, business like conversation, that I should have worn more business like attire.

This affirmation that he spoke to me was quite eye opening.  "Dating should be treated like a job, or so he close-mindedly thought.  I don't feel I should be judged by the way I dress.  I act like a woman, speak intelligently, and I treat others with as much respect as I proudly give myself.  If my actions don't condone indecent behavior, then definitely my choice in clothing shouldn't give anyone the inclination that I am less than a lady.

And then I remember that we live in a society that totally judges others by their appearance.  Every media form in public viewing, decides how we should view others.  If you dress like a punk rocker, then you’re a drug addict. If you have locks, then you must smoke weed.  If you wear glasses, then you’re smart. If you wear flashy jewelry, then you are a drug dealer.  Against the odds of what society says of others, I sincerely try not to judge a book by its cover.

At 26, I battle with longing to live by my own standards and being aware of the standards that society sets for us.  I don't want to be thought of in a derogatory way, but I also don't want to be held in a box with others notions of who I should be and how I should dress.  I learned at an early age that I could learn from the best of them and the rest of them.  I have sat and talked to homeless people, the mentally challenged, and I have learned quite unique and valuable lessons from them all.  It made me realize early on to treat everyone equally, because we equally all have special gifts to share with the world.  I have always been a free spirit, living to please myself and think for myself.